I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
