Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
