God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize