I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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