we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
