Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
