She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
