Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
