I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize