Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
