i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
