i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
