im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bring me that man meat
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
