physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
