it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
