they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
