Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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