How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
