Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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