remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She announced her abortion via fbk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
