You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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