I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
