Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
