READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think my moral compass just broke
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