I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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