And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
