Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
