i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
