Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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