Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
