He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
