why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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