Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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