dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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