are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
