What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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