just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
