i just wanna soil my oats bro
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
