It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
