we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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