We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
