I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
