so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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