feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize