you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
