He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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