you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
