Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
