Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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