Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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