Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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