Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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