Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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