You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
