one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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