the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
