Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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