have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
