We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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