new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
