I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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