but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
