What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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