Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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