I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize