she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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