My friends, they love my intelligence
I want to have your abortion
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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