Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize