I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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