hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
