HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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