I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
